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Step aside coffee. This is a job for Alcohol! Step aside coffee. This is a job for Alcohol!

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You should text him. You should text him.

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I love you, man I love you, man

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Fuck your diet Fuck your diet

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Healthy as Fuck Healthy as Fuck

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I own you. I own you.

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Sometimes I feel empty inside Sometimes I feel empty inside

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Calm the hell down Calm the hell down

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(Martini Glass) (Martini Glass)

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Coffee Slut. Coffee Slut.

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Hell hath no fury like me when I'm slightly inconvenienced and hungry Hell hath no fury like me when I'm slightly inconvenienced and hungry

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I regret nothing I regret nothing

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A raw food diet? You mean like cookie dough? A raw food diet? You mean like cookie dough?

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No one wants to hear about your diet. Just eat your salad and be sad. No one wants to hear about your diet. Just eat your salad and be sad.

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Eat more hole foods! Eat more hole foods!

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I love you too! I love you too!

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Every now and then I fall apart Every now and then I fall apart

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This is Guacward This is Guacward

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Let's just get through this. (coffee pot) Let's just get through this. (coffee pot)

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Let that Shit Go Let that Shit Go

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If I ever sound inspirational, one of us is drunk If I ever sound inspirational, one of us is drunk

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Shut up. It's my cheat day Shut up. It's my cheat day

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Eat a well balanced diet! Eat a well balanced diet!

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Take it cheesy Take it cheesy

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Drinks well with others Drinks well with others

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Camping without beer is just sitting in the woods Camping without beer is just sitting in the woods

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I'm the drunk sheep of the family I'm the drunk sheep of the family

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Alcoholics don't run in my family, they stumble around and break shit. Alcoholics don't run in my family, they stumble around and break shit.

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If I ever told you that I loved you, I was drunk and thought you were a donut If I ever told you that I loved you, I was drunk and thought you were a donut

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