"If the King's English was good enough for Jesus, it's good enough for me."

"I think that gay marriage should be between a man and a woman."

"There are known knowns. There are things we know that we know. There are known unknowns. That is to say, there are things that we know we don't know. But there are also unknown unknowns. There are things we don't know we don't know."

"I don't understand how they can call me anti-Latino when I've made four movies in Mexico." (Not to mention the love child ...)

"I would never approach a small-breasted woman."

The Girl Scouts allow homosexuals and atheists to join their ranks, and they have become a pro-abortion, feminist training corps. If the Girl Scouts of America can't get back to teaching real character, perhaps it will be time to look for our cookies elsewhere.

I find it interesting that it was back in the 1970s that the swine flu broke out under another, then under another Democrat president, Jimmy Carter. I'm not blaming this on President Obama, I just think it's an interesting coincidence.

If ObamaCare passes, that free insurance card that's in people's pockets is gonna be as worthless as a Confederate dollar after the war between the states -- the Great War of Yankee Aggression.

We had no domestic attacks under Bush; we've had one under Obama.

I'm blacker than Barack Obama. I shined shoes. I grew up in a five-room apartment. My father had a little laundromat in a black community not far from where we lived. I saw it all growing up.

We're all Arizonans now.

 

 

 

What do you mean I need to order them in quantities of 6? That won't work, I'll take a dozen of each.

What is the beginning of the year? Like January or something?

A proof is a proof. What kind of proof? It’s a proof. A proof is proof. And when you have a good proof, it’s because it is proven.

I've now been in 57 states -- I think one left to go.

Why can't I just eat my waffle?

 

 

 

It may be tempting and more comfortable to just keep your head down, plod along, and appease those who demand: 'Sit down and shut up,' but that's the worthless, easy path; that's a quitter's way out.

 

 

 

My fear is that the whole island will become so overly populated that it will tip over and capsize.

 

 

 

Another thing we can do for jobs is make toys of me, especially for the holidays. Little dolls. Me. Like maybe little action dolls. Me in an army uniform, air force uniform, and me in my suit. They can make toys of me and my vehicle, especially for the holidays and Christmas for the kids. That's something that would create jobs. So you see I think out of the box like that. It's not something a typical person would bring up. That's something that could happen, that makes sense. It's not a joke.

 

 

 

I'm going to kill that fucking dog.

 

 

 

His mom lived in Long Island for ten years or so. God rest her soul. And- although, she's- wait- your mom's still- your mom's still alive. Your dad passed. God bless her soul.

 

 

 

As Putin rears his head and comes into the air space of the United States of America, where– where do they go? It's Alaska. It's just right over the border.

 

 

 

We believe that the best of America is in these small towns that we get to visit, and in these wonderful little pockets of what I call the real America, being here with all of you hardworking, very patriotic, um, very, um, pro-America areas of this great nation.

 

 

 

Ground Zero Mosque supporters: doesn't it stab you in the heart, as it does ours throughout the heartland? Peaceful Muslims, pls refudiate.