A clean house is a sign of a wasted life
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Amazingly Enough, I dont give a shit
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Because Chocolate Cant Get You Pregnant
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Beer will save the world. I dont know how, but it will
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Beer! Its whats for dinner
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Being a crabby bitch is all part of my charm
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Being unstable and bitchy is all part of my mystique
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Better multitasking through massive caffenine consumption
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Drink coffee. Do stupid things faster with more energy.
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Eat a square meal a day, a box of chocolates.
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Everyday I give my family two option for dinner, take it or leave it
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Explain to me again why I need a man
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I barely survived yersterday and its already today
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I bitch therefore I am
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I child proofed my house but they still get in
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I dont have hot flashes. I have short, private vacations in the tropics
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I dont mean to be eltist but I am
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I had a mind once, now I have small children
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I know, I know, Im totally fabulous
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I lost my virginity, but I still have the box it came in
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I love work! It gets me away from my kids
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I need more power and money and less shit from you people
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I spend half my day bitching about the other half
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I understand the concept of cooking and cleaning, just not how it applies to me.
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I used to care, but now I take a pill for that
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If it fits in a toaster, I can cook it!
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If you think Im a bitch you should meet my mother
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If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen
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Instead of cleaning the house, I turn off the lights
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Its been lovely but I have to scream now
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Lets say working here was not a great career move
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Of course I love you! Now get me a beer.
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Ran into my ex ... put it in reverse and hit him again
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So much to do, so few people to do it for me
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Some days are a total waste of make-up
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TEAMWORK means never having to take all the blame
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Well behaved women rarely make history
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Why do I have to get married? I didnt do anything wrong.
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You mean shopping for more useless crap isn’t the meaning of life?
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You say Im a bitch like its a bad thing
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